I’m Your Criminal Defense Attorney, I’m Not Your Pimp

pimp hat

I do a lot for my clients. I go above and beyond the call of duty. I work nights, I work weekends. I do what it takes to get my clients the best outcome possible on their cases. Whether it’s a white-collar crime, conspiracy to distribute marijuana, or some other complex criminal case, I do my very best for my clients. Sometimes that means being a therapist. Sometimes it means being a life coach. I wear many hats. But there’s one hat that I won’t wear. That’s because I’m your criminal defense attorney, not your pimp.

Over the years I’ve had a number of clients who have multiple wives, girlfriends, and side pieces. Good for them. Good for them that they have the energy to pull it off. Once such client told me that going to jail was actually a vacation – he didn’t have to juggle his girlfriends and try to keep everything straight.

Some clients have been very good and respectful about realizing that their “hustle” is not something that I even need to know about. They want my energy going into fighting their cases.

Others, though, don’t quite get the attorney-client relationship. For example, they have asked me to give different information to different girlfriends and requested that I make sure that both (or more) wives and girlfriends don’t show up at the same court hearing. Some have asked me to make sure that the girlfriend never sees the police report (which is, by the way, a public record) as it mentioned the wife’s name. I can’t, I just can’t even.

So here’s the bottom line: If you need an experienced criminal defense attorney in Phoenix to handle a serious state or federal matter, then contact me at (602) 663-9100. I’m happy to set up a confidential consultation to see if we are a good fit. If, however, you are looking for a social director to manage your many interpersonal relationships, consider hiring a circus clown who is experienced at juggling and not really focused on getting you the best outcome on your case.